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Something that shouldn't be.

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Aug
19th
Tue
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Aug
18th
Mon
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Mustard is my favorite condiment. I’m tweeting it right now.

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Moves are just cheap imitations of myths about reality that don’t much exist or occur, but do and instead of living them we make movies.View more T.J. Miller on WhoSay

Moves are just cheap imitations of myths about reality that don’t much exist or occur, but do and instead of living them we make movies.

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Aug
17th
Sun
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To be truly close to someone is transparency in the relationship— and it’s hard, but I told @rosepetalpistol I had beef hidden in my socks.Listen to exclusive message

To be truly close to someone is transparency in the relationship— and it’s hard, but I told @rosepetalpistol I had beef hidden in my socks.

Listen to exclusive message

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Denver.  You love comedy. You love recMJ. you love beer. Combine: High Plains Comedy Festival! Shows Wed 10pm. Thurs 10pm. Fri 11pm.  http://www.whosay.com/l/QwG92MtView more T.J. Miller on WhoSay

Denver. You love comedy. You love recMJ. you love beer. Combine: High Plains Comedy Festival! Shows Wed 10pm. Thurs 10pm. Fri 11pm.
http://www.whosay.com/l/QwG92Mt

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Aug
15th
Fri
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I guar-an-fucking-tee it that there is at least a pizza, that doesn’t, shit.

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What, you think GREG would lie to me?! Hmm? In fact, I trust his word so much— I’ll guarantee there’s a pizza that doesn’t shit.

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I heard there’s a pizza that doesn’t shit.

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I believe in donkey sleeves.

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